Jack & Orange
by StitchAndRepair
Summary: "Ian wondered how someone you once knew everything about can stay the same and yet change so completely"
1. Chapter 1

Mickey leant forward on the stool, leaning one of his elbows on the bar as he closed his eyes and focused on drowning out the world around him.

His legs ached especially hard today and he could feel the burn running through them, tightening the muscles and for the thousandth time that month he promised himself that he was going to quit the stupid construction job before his muscles gave in altogether and just snapped. But the money was good and the company wasn't too bad and he actually enjoyed it most days, so he'd probably find himself in the same position, in the same stool, making the same promises again tomorrow.

His beer got placed on a cardboard mat in front of him, some of the froth spilling over the edge on impact. It dripped down his fingers that were already curled around the glass and he barely raised his eyebrows in thanks to the bar woman before the pint glass was at his lips, the froth leaving a thin mustache, covering the short black stubble of his own beard and he let out a content sigh as the refreshing liquid slid down his throat.

The bar woman was short in height and shapely. Tight belted jeans showed off thick thighs and a fitted band t-shirt covered a stomach that had just begun to spread with age and shoulders that slumped with the weight of her heavyset boobs. Her hair curled wildly around her face as she smiled brightly at the guy that walked to a stop in front of the bar beside him and took his order.

"Just a beer, please"

Mickey barely managed to control the splutter of surprise that threatened to spill out of his mouth and he had to put his pint down and draw in a quick breath to calm himself.

He run his tongue along his top lip, licking away droplets of the froth that was still collected along the top of his mouth and his eyes darted to the guy next to him who had spoken with a voice that he would have recognised anywhere.

"That's $3.50" the woman held out her hand, palm up, for the money and Mickey waved his hand in a gesture that signaled he would pick up the tab. The woman smiled at the guy and told him that it was taken care of and Mickey felt the air in his lungs freeze as the guy turned to look at him.

"Shit Mickey" Ian's eyes bugged out in the same shock that Mickey had felt just moments prior. His voice was quiet, disbelieving, as if he spoke any louder than the moment might be disrupted and pulled away from like a dream.

Mickey lifted his eyebrows in greeting and couldn't quite bring himself to smile "Gallagher"

"Wow, uh... it...it's... been a.. a while" Ian stuttered and Mickey took the pauses between Ian's broken words to study him. He had grown only slightly taller, but he'd filled out more, grown into his body properly and his face had matured in the years that they'd not seen each other, the years that they'd managed to avoid each other.

Mickey smirked as he swallowed a mouthful of his beer "Yeah"

"Uh... thanks. For the... beer" Ian clarified, lifting up his beer as if Mickey needed concrete proof of what he was talking about.

"It's cool man" He brushed it off like him buying things for Ian was common between them and he scratched awkwardly at his cheek at the realisation that there was nothing common between them anymore. It had been almost five years since they last saw each other and his stomach shouldn't be flipping over inside of him the way that it was.

He smirked at Ian and tipped his head towards an empty table behind him and Ian sipped at his beer before walking over to it with a look of uncertainty on his face.

The last person Ian ever expected to see when he walked into a random bar in the middle of the city was Mickey Milkovich.

He had been on his way home from the bar he worked at uptown when he decided to pop in. Work had decided to send him home early due to a leak in the apartment above the dance floor and he thought he'd treat himself to a cheeky pint on his only free day that week. He had been sat down with Mickey for just over half an hour now and the nerves in his gut were still so unsettled and on edge that he couldn't quite decide whether it was a good thing that they were here or a bad thing.

Ian was sat with his back to the rest of the bar, facing only Mickey who was sat on the end seat of an uncomfortable looking long bench that wrapped its way around half of the room. They were separated by a small circular table that wobbled unsteadily whenever either of them pressed their weight against it.

He couldn't help but kick himself for the seat that he chose to sit at because he couldn't distract himself with people watching and the music video currently playing quietly on the TV behind him. He fiddled with the bar mat and only looked up at Mickey when he spoke,

"Lip's down in Boston right?" Their conversation hadn't dulled or faltered, not even once and Ian wasn't sure whether it was because conversation had always come easily between them or they were just both too afraid of the questions and the thoughts and the feelings that their silences would bring.

"Yeah" he nodded "His last year at MIT"

"Fuck" Mickey raised his eyebrows like he found it hard to believe that someone could ever escape Southside. Ian suddenly had a flashback to when they were younger, higher than he could ever remember being as they lay like starfish on top of a stolen car, looking up the clouded sky - Mickey had told him that night that Southside was like a sinking ship and it was like the roads were made of quicksand, no matter how much you tried to get out, it was too late. They were all born too late, their feet already planted like roots in the side of the city that never gave them a chance.

Ian had scoffed at the time, told Mickey that he had plans to get out and he was going to be great, an officer and someone to be proud of. Now he's closer to thinking that Mickey might be right. "How's he liking that?"

Ian blinked away the memories of the two kids that they used to be and took a long sip of his beer before answering, his knee knocking against the leg of the table as he did "It's got its perks, but you know Lip - not happy unless he's scamming someone and making money"

"What about you? What you up to now?" the words rushed from Mickey's lips like he'd been dying to ask them and Ian almost smiled as Mickey realised, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth for a second to calm himself "South fucking.. Westpoint, whatever it's called?"

"Uh no, things... didn't work out with Westpoint" Ian scratched at his lip and suppressed an eye roll. Like Mickey didn't already know that. He glanced over at the woman behind the bar as she wiped the sides down after a drunk guy with long, scraggy hair and the crack of his ass hanging out the back of his trousers spilled his drink for the second time in twenty minutes "I'm on a sports science course, gonna be a physio. I'm working bar uptown for now though. You should check it out sometime" He really didn't believe Mickey ever would but a part of him couldn't help but wonder whether he'd ever even consider it, "what about you?"

Mickey shrugged as he idly tore little strips along the edges of the beer mat in the way that he always did when he craved a cigarette but couldn't have one. Ian bit the inside of his cheek at how little Mickey had changed.

Ian always pictured meeting Mickey again and him being so different, so unrecognizable that Ian wouldn't even remember him. He expected his new life to have changed him, changed everything about him. Ian should've known that a Milkovich never changed for anything.

"Mechanic mostly"

"you were always good with cars" Ian smirked and Mickey rolled his eyes and Ian could've sworn that as he cast his eyes down at the table he was remembering the same things Ian was - their adventures across Southside in 'borrowed' cars and the nights they had spent driving as far as they could just to do something random like get a burger and drive back again. Ian didn't realise quite how much he'd missed those times, how much he'd missed Mickey.

"Yeah" Mickey snorted and pushed his tongue against the corner of his lip and Ian forced himself to look at the torn up beer mat on the table in front of them "I pick up some construction sometimes, where I'm at at the minute, but you know how it is - whatever comes up"

"What, no side business?"

Mickey sniffed and shook his head as he scratched awkwardly at his ear "Not any more man, not with the kid"

Ian felt his chest deflate. They had both crept around the subjects of wives and children for the entire time that they'd been here and Ian didn't want the conversation to suddenly sour. Too many unspoken words and repressed feeling bubbled under the surface of their skin and Ian knew from past experience with Mickey how quickly that could make things go bad.

"How old is he now?" he asked and he saw a light flicker on behind Mickey's eyes and his lips turned up so affectionately and it was so unlike the Mickey that Ian knew and he wanted to hate it, he wanted to wipe the foreign look from Mickey's face but he couldn't, because it suited him and it looked good on him. Being a father suited him.

"4 going on 14" This had to be the first time Ian had ever seen such a look of love on Mickey's face and his fingers twitched with the sudden need to... to touch Mickey or just.. Reach out and make sure he was really there, that it was really him. Something. He was only a little bit jealous that he never got to see that look before now "Little fucker, so much like me at that age"

Ian smiled at the thought "He is?"

"Yeah man" Mickey chewed on his bottom lip and gestured to the bar woman for two more beers before he downed the dregs of the almost empty glass on the table and smirked up at Ian "Looks like me too"

"Yeah Mandy says that" Ian answered and he tried to picture a little Mickey running around; dark hair and blue eyes and an attitude too old for his young years and he suddenly really, really wanted to meet him.

"She's with him now actually. She spent the day with him, wants to spend all of her time with him before he starts school in a couple o' weeks"

"School?" he asked as the bar woman placed the two beers on the table and smiled at them warmly, her light brown curls falling in front of her face for a moment before she tucked them behind her ears and asked if they needed anything else. Ian shook his head and thanked her and he watched as Mickey's eyes trailed after her for a second before he looked back at Ian

"Yeah - Time's gone too fucking quick"

Ian nodded and tried to bite his tongue, but the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them and he cursed himself as soon as they did because bile formed at the back of his throat and he really, really didn't want to know the answer "...and your wife?"

"Uh…" Ian saw Mickey as he bit, almost too hard, down on his bottom lip and he wondered if Mickey had found it easy to lie about himself these last few years, whether it was just Ian that he found it hard to be anyone but himself in front of, "still around"

Ian felt as his face fell. His eyes lowered and he couldn't bring himself to look at Mickey and he's not even sure why, because he knew the answer. He knew from Mandy and the very occasional sightings of someone he thought might be her from across the street. He knew that she was still around and he didn't understand the twisting in his gut and he wanted nothing more than to put on a teasing smile and congratulate Mickey for managing to keep a relationship going like a normal human being, but he couldn't.

He couldn't seem to do anything for a moment and a blanket of awkwardness fell over them and Ian hated it more than anything else, because with the two of them it was never awkward.

Not after juvie, not after words that should never have been said, that they both knew were lies, not after Frank and Terry and shotgun weddings.

It was heartbreaking and painful and great and better than anything Ian had ever experienced, but it was never awkward.

Clearing his throat, Mickey flicked his eyes up towards Ian; his fingers cradled around the bottom of his glass "what about you? Seeing anyone?"

"…yeah" Ian admitted quietly, like he would be hurting Mickey by admitting the truth, which was a stupid thought but one that he couldn't shake as he remembered shop managers and ROTC uniforms and grey hair and old spice that had all been on the recieving end of a jealous Mickey Milkovich, "guy called Ryan"

Mickey's lip twitched like he was attempting to smirk or smile and it just wasn't happening and his nostrils flared out before his face went blank, an expression Ian remembered far too well "how's that going?"

"Ok. He's a little older" he admitted as he took a large gulp of his beer and wiped the froth from his mouth with the back of his hand

"Like Grandpa age?" Mickey joked, raising his eyebrows "or_ just_ hitting his midlife crisis?" He smirked at Ian and let out a short, dirty laugh that had Ian curling his toes in his shoes and rolling his eyes as a smile broke out on his own face.

"Ha. Fuck you; he's like... 26" He looked over Mickey's face for a moment before he confessed "He asked me to move in with him last week"

"Oh shit" Mickey snorted and Ian wasn't sure if it was to him or to where Mickey's eyes were currently focused. He turned his head and watched for a moment as a fight between two guys - the drunk that kept spilling his drink at the bar and a tall, skinny guy with blonde and brown dreads hanging down his back - got broken up. Ian scratched at his temple before turning back around and facing Mickey, seeing Mickey's eyes were already on him, the pint glass at his lips. Ian looked back for a second and wondered what was going through Mickey's head.

The noise escalated behind them and snapped Mickey's eyes away from Ian's. He wiped the leftover beer from his mouth and placed the glass back on the table "sounds serious. You and this guy"

"I guess" Ian shrugged. The pressure of the last few days and the tension between him and Ryan crept back into his shoulders and he ran both of his hands over his face for a second before he pulled them away, chewing on his lip as he answered "I don't know, I'm not sure if I'm... that into it. Moving in together is a pretty big step"

And Mickey looked at Ian with a knowing smile and a suppressed eye roll "Tell me about it"


	2. Chapter 2

Ian's head tipped back with laughter as Mickey spluttered into his beer, drips splashing onto his paint splattered jeans

"Man that's fucked up. And you both got away with that?"

Ian didn't have time to answer when a young boy came running through the doors, barely even stopping to glance around and running straight over to Mickey and Ian with an excited look on his face and a wide grin "daaaadddyyy!"

As Mickey scooped the little boy up into his arms and lifted him up in the air, Ian looked at Jack and smiled. Jack was small for his age, with jet black hair that fell forward onto his forehead like bangs. He laughed loud and uncaring of everyone else in the room and Ian's mind filled with images of a young black haired boy standing on first base of the baseball stadium, too short for his age, hair falling in his face and a loud laugh filling the air as he pulled his pants down and pissed all over the floor around him.

Ian watched Mickey's whole demeanor change as he stood Jack up beside him on the bench. He seemed lighter now, more relaxed. Ian would even call him calm and it was all so foreign to Ian, to see Mickey like this, to see Mickey being a father, but he thought he might definitely grow to like it.

Ian took a sip of his beer as Jack kept his face trained on his shoes and kicked his way a few steps up and down the bench as Mickey watched him for a second before he asked

"You had a good day kid?"

"Yeah" the young boy answered plainly as he pulled the collar of his black t-shirt into his mouth, still concentrating on kicking the air in front of him as he paced up and down the bench.

Mandy walked into the bar breathless and red cheeked and she ignored the catcalls from a few local drunks as she passed them. Ian didn't miss the way she stuck her chest out a little bit further, just for the show as she walked past a young sandy haired guy in a grey suit, a cell phone attached to his ear.

She sat down on the little chair in front of Jack with a huff, positioned between him and Ian.

She leant forward and ruffled Ian's hair playfully before slouching back against her chair as she looked between the two of them confused,

"The fuck are you two doing here together?"

Ian scratched at his face as he looked over at Mickey who spoke with a frown, like it wasn't obvious what they were doing "catching up Fuckhead. What's it look like?"

Ian leant across and kissed Mandy's cheek and she smiled at him and he asked her what she brought today and as she began talking mindlessly about bargains and Jack's school stuff and the cutest little pencil case that she brought for him Ian found himself distracted with the way Mickey interacted with his son

"What did you do today?"

"Stuff" Ian smiled to himself as Jack stopped kicking the air to tilt his head up at his dad and shrug his shoulders

"Like what?" Mickey pressed and Ian wanted to laugh at the eye roll that Jack gave him in return as the collar of his t-shirt once again got pulled into his mouth

"Park"

"And...?"

"Aunt Mandy told me off" Jack admitted grumpily, screwing his face up and looking just like said auntie and as he looked at Mandy as she reached out and tickled Jack's side, he could see she recognised it too.

"Snitch"

Jack stuck his neck out as far as he could and pulled a face at Mandy and she just grinned back at him before putting all of her purchases back into her shopping bags,

"Why'd she tell you off?" Mickey asked looking older than his years, Ian thought. He looked like a parent.

"Kicked a kid" Jack muttered into his fist as he replaced the collar in his mouth with it and chewed on it like it was food

"Why?" asked Mickey, almost impatiently and Ian flicked his eyes over to Mandy who had her head in her phone. She was wearing the same small smile that she always failed to hide, the same one that she'd been wearing for the last few weeks and Ian reminded himself to get that information out of her at some point.

"He pushed me" Jack answered, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at his shoes

"Alright then" Mickey nodded and reached out to ruffle Jack's bangs so they were out of his face before he stood up, edging his way past the table so he could make his way to the bar,

"want a coke?"

"YEAH!" Jack's head shot up in excitement and he jumped up and down on the bench

"Yeah what?" Mickey demanded, his eyebrows raised in a look that Ian had seen on Fiona's face far too many times growing up and he wanted to laugh at the expression as it sat comfortably on Mickey's face, like it was used to being there.

"With a straw" Jack's head fell floppy onto his chest, still jumping just a little, before he looked up at Mickey with a cheeky grin, dimples forming either side of his mouth and his nose screwed up cutely,

"One straw?"

"Two straws!" he yelled back at his dad and Ian watched as Mickey frowned at his son playfully, a small smile threatening to break out on his face,

"Just two?" Mickey asked, holding up two fingers and Jack shook his head really fast for a second, throwing his whole body into it energetically and he laughed up at his dad and threw up two fingers on each hand

"Four. Four straws!"

"Alright" Mickey answered and shifted his gaze to Mandy "You?"

"Coke" she replied "1 straw"

"You" pointing a hand at Jack, Mickey gestured for him to sit down as he stepped closer to the bar "sit. Nicely"

With a huff, Jack slipped down the wall into the seat, his feet jigging impatiently, the boy obviously buzzed with energy.

Ian noticed the agitated way that Jack looked around the bar, like he was itching under his own skin, a frown set on his face like people were pissing him off by just being there and he fought back a smile. Mickey was right; the kid was just like him.

"Aunt Mandy" Came Jack's voice over the sudden rush of noise behind Ian. Ian spared a glance at the group of lads sat in the other corner of the bar as they cheered and whooped, one of the guys grabbing another into a headlock playfully. He looked back at Jack and saw him staring at two people, an older couple, sat down the bench from him "why do those people keep looking at me?"

Mandy turned her head to where Jack was looking and Ian didn't have to see her face to know that she was glaring at them, "Kid in a bar" she answered, her eyes back on her nephew as he slumped further down in his seat. She reached out and run her fingers through his too long hair, making it stick up on end and she smiled warmly at him "They think it's bad parenting"

Ian laughed into his almost empty pint glass as Jack, face void of any emotion, looked back over at the couple that had been staring at him and let his tongue roll out of his mouth at them. Ian saw the look of disgust on their faces and Jack obviously noticed it too because he pulled one side of his lip up in a sneer before he decided that they weren't interesting enough for him and he turned and looked back at Mandy, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip in a way that was all too familiar to Ian "Can you do my laces?"

Mandy leant forward and picked Jack up, placing him on the edge of the table in front of her and as she began to tie his laces, she said with a small smile playing on her lips "Hey Jack" she tipped her head towards Ian and Jack turned his head to follow her movement "you know who that is?"

Jack looked Ian right in the eyes and all Ian could see was Mickey. He looked at him just like Mick used to - confident and unwavering and like he could see every single part of him. Just as quickly as he studied over Ian, he was back looking at Mandy, his eyes big as he pushed the knuckle of his index finger into his mouth and shook his head "No"

Mandy grinned and reached over, tugging lightly on Ian's jacket "This is Ian" she turned her head and looked at him, screwing her nose up just how Jack had done minutes earlier "He's my _best_ friend in the whole world"

Ian smiled at Mandy and he had the urge to hug her but he suppressed it as Jack shifted on the table, Ian holding it steady as it threatened to wobble. His feet dangled in front of Ian and he pulled on his t-shirt, chewing it and frowning curiously at Ian, "you friends with daddy?"

Mandy pulled Jack's t-shirt out of his mouth and for a split second Ian didn't know how to answer. He glanced over at Mickey who was propped up against the bar, staring at the music video on the screen in the corner. He looked back at Jack and nodded "yeah"

Jack didn't respond, just looked Ian over and studied him. Ian didn't know what to do as the little boy just looked at him. He glanced over at Mandy who was too busy looking back into her phone. He saw Jack's small hand reach out towards his head and Ian lowered his head just a touch, tipping it forward so that Jack could reach to run his fingers through his hair.

Jack snorted, sounding impressed as he spoke "s' like fire"

Ian couldn't help the grin that spread across his face at the childish excitement in Jack's voice. He pulled his head back as he saw Mickey heading back over with everyone's drinks,

"Ay, get off the table" He ordered, a splash of Mandy's coke spilling over the edge and splashing onto the floor.

Jack stood up on the table, pulling at his t-shirt with one hand and watching, his finger scratching the inside of his nose, as Mickey placed the drinks down around him.

He picked Jack up and sat him down beside him again on the bench and Jack tugged on his sleeve "Aye dad"

"What kid?" Mickey asked as he slid Mandy's drink over to her, a ring mark smearing along, leaving a liquid path as he did.

"Ian's hair is like fire"

Mickey glanced up at Ian as he slid his beer over to him. Ian was already looking at him, a smile dancing in his eyes and they shared a grin at the comparison. Mickey leant back and picked up Jack's coke, handing it to him, "Yeah. It's pretty cool huh?"

Jack curled his hand into a tight fist then released it, splaying his fingers out like an explosion, making the sounds to match, "Flame on!"

Mickey laughed loudly and looked over at Ian with amusement clear on his face "He thinks your Johnny Storm"

Ian smiled across the table at Jack and sipped at his beer as he felt Mandy lock her ankle around his for a moment.

Jack fiddled with the straws in his glass, aligning them. He scrunched up one eye and lifted one of the straws at the bend, looking down it like it was the barrel of a gun and Ian watched as he scanned the room, looking for a target before pulling the imaginary trigger and blowing them up, making the same explosion noise with his mouth.

He looked back down at his glass and took a long sip of his coke before tilting his head to look up at his dad,

"When I'm older will I have cool hair?"

Mickey glanced at Ian, kinking his eyebrow before running a hand over the mess of his hair "Na kid, you'll be stuck with hair like your old mans"

Jack pulled away from his glass and glanced up at Mickey's hair. He nodded and shrugged his shoulders like he could settle for that "oh. Okay"

Mandy pulled her phone back out of her pocket as it beeped with a message. Ian kicked her ankle under the table and she looked up at him, her teeth nibbling on her bottom lip as she tried not to grin like a school girl with a crush. He narrowed his eyes at her and she flipped him off as she looked back down at her phone. Ian laughed to himself at the stupid grin that broke free across her face as the phone beeped again and he left her to it as he looked back over at Mickey and Jack.

"DAD" Jack turned his head up to his dad, a glare on his face "s' only 3 straws"

"And?" Mickey asked swigging his beer before putting it back down on the table

"I asked for four" He said as he bugged his eyes out like Mickey should've known

"You get what you're given" Mickey said sternly and Jack looked down at his glass as the ice clinked around in it

"But I need four" Jack looked back up at Mickey and smiled, except it was more like a smirk and Ian looked at Mickey and saw a mirrored expression, "Four for how many years old I am"

"Well if that was true, kid, I'd need 22"

Jack snorted in disbelief "that's a lotta straws"

"Way to make me feel old" Mickey muttered, cuffing Jack playfully up the back of the head and Jack laughed, high pitched and loud as he batted his dad's hand away,

"You are old dad"

"Ay!" Mickey huffed out a laugh in shock and looked up at Mandy who was eyeing the pair of them in amusement before he looked back down at Jack and run a paint splattered hand over his face, Jack's laughter muffled from behind it.

"Mick" Mandy interrupted, pocketing her phone "it's coming up to 6. He's not had dinner yet and I promised him some of my mac 'n' cheese"

"Alright" Mickey downed the last of his beer and one big gulp and gestured with his hand for Jack to do the same "We'll finish up and head back"

Ian laughed as Jack grabbed his glass with two hands and tipped his head back, just like Mickey, and downed half of his glass in one mouthful. He shook his head as the coldness from the drink hit him and he screwed his eyes shut for a moment before opening his eyes and grinning cheekily when he realised Ian was looking at him.

Jack began to blow bubbles in his glass. His mouth covered all three straws and his nostrils flared and a vein became visible just above his right eyebrow as he blew into them with all the force he could muster.

"IAN!" Mandy stressed, like it wasn't the first time that she called his name. He turned his head and blinked at her and she widened her eyes in question "you coming?"

Ian scratched his nose as, for not the first time tonight, he didn't know how to answer. He turned his head and looked at Mickey questioning and Mickey just shrugged his shoulders

"Uh, sure"


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm NOT playing that film again - aren't you guys sick of it?" Mandy asked as she moved round on the couch and stuck her toes under Ian's thighs, warming them up.

Ian looked around the Milkovich household for what felt like the hundredth time since he had been there. It had been just over five years since he had last been there, didn't want to think about the last time he was, and he couldn't believe the difference in the place.

He had learned through Mandy that after Terry got sent to prison the last time he had needed someone to take over the house otherwise it was going to get repossessed and Mickey had stepped in and had taken the house on as his own.

Ian never for one second imagined Mickey redoing the whole place. He had given it a decent coat of paint, put in carpets that didn't have curse words singed into it. Even all the holes from stray bullets, knives and fists had been filled in. He looked around for any trace of the house that he used to frequent and found nothing, as if Mickey had hidden away all the old ghosts that used to linger in the rooms like smoke.

Pictures of Jack hung proudly on the walls and it actually looked like a family home. He could see the feminine touches to the living room - the cushions on the sofa and frames that matched the rest of the room. He felt his face heat up in a ghost of envy, a feeling he had managed to repress for years, as he imagined a scene in his head that had probably never happened. He pictured Mickey and his wife sat around the kitchen table talking and arguing over paint swatches and matching drapes. Ian would have found the idea of that a complete joke before, when it was the two of them against the world, but he didn't know this Mickey. He didn't know the Mickey who had a wife and a kid and a steady job.

Except, he thought as he looked around in search of photos of Mickey and his wife and found none, maybe he did know this Mickey. Because he was still the same person he was back then - he just had responsibilities now and someone dependent on him. He was still the Mickey that swore too much and laughed at things that people shouldn't find funny. He was the same Mickey that could down beer after beer and still walk in a straight line but two shots of tequila and he was slurring his words. He was still Ian's Mickey - the only thing that had changed was that he wasn't technically Ian's anymore.

"No way!" Jack exclaimed as if the idea alone was nuts. He picked up his action figurine of The Thing and made sound effects as he pile-drived it into the cream carpet and rebounded it up into the air with a cheer "Me and dad watch it all the time and he always plays The Thing and he gets to beat everybody up and it's so cool!"

Jack stood up and spun his figurine of Johnny storm around in circles, spinning faster and faster until he fell on his bum with a thump and grinned up at Ian, eye crossing for a moment in dizziness "Hey Ian when we next play you can be Johnny!"

His face was all lit up and he was grinning at Ian so wide and so red-cheeked that Ian couldn't help but smile as he nodded, "Well who do you play?"

Jack laughed and from his spot on the floor he waved his arms around like they were made of spaghetti, "Mr. Elastic"

"I already told you" Mickey started, kicking some of the toys that littered the floor to one side "that's not his name"

"yeah!" Jack exclaimed as he rolled his eyes towards his dad "you know who I mean though"

"Still not his name" Mickey muttered and took a sip of his beer as Mandy scrunched her face up at the two of them,

"Dorks" she teased and Mickey just held up his middle finger at her in response.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time, clicking his fingers to get Jack's attention "Ay Jack - bath time, man"

With a long groan, Jack leant forwards and put his head against the carpeted floor, his knees crossed and his butt in the air as he pouted up at his dad "I had a bath before"

Ian watched as Mickey worked a crick out of his neck as he looked down at Jack "Yeah that's kind of the point - you need 'em regularly"

"Why?!" Jack asked moodily "I had one the other day - I didn't get dirty since then" he protested as he sat back up properly, crossing his arms across his chest.

Ian felt Mandy's toes wiggle underneath his thigh and he smirked at her. She stuck her tongue out at him and he covered her face with his hand, which she batted away before jabbing at his thigh with her index finger and laughing at the face he pulled

"You got cheese sauce all over your face" Mickey said firmly as Jack looked away petulantly "and I've already let you have an extra hour. Come on - ass up the stairs"

With a loud huff and a scowl on his face, Jack stood up,

"What do you say?" Mickey asked as he rubbed Jack's back. Jack glanced up towards Ian and Mandy, not really looking at either of them, his bottom lip pouted out as he let out a breath through his nose,

"Bye" he mumbled before he dragged his feet out of the room, his shoulders slumped.

"Soap dodger, just like his old man huh?" Ian laughed and just managed to dodge the The Thing doll as it flew towards his head.

"Fucking asshole" Mandy bit out at Mickey just as Jack's stomping footsteps as he walked up the stairs echoed into the room, "that could've hit me"

"Wasn't fucking aimed at you" Mickey answered back and Mandy rolled her eyes and turned her face away from him as him and Ian shared a smile, Ian shaking his head at the pair of them - still arguing like cat and dog after all this time.

Mandy's phone beeped yet again and Ian was about to snatch it away from her, just to see her reaction when the front door opened. Ian's heart stuttered in his chest at the memory of the last time that happened here and he wasn't sure if it was better or worse the fact that it was Mickey's wife that walked through it.

He felt as his face drained white. She looked exactly the same - skinnier and shorter hair, but still the same dead-eyed woman that fucked Mickey on the sofa in front of him that day. She was dressed in skin tight jeans, a plain black top and a cropped denim jacket. She looked just like any regular mother and Ian could feel his heart beat in his ears as she turned and looked at him.

Her eyebrows raised in surprise, the only emotion that Ian had ever seen from her in their few encounters. Her eyes flickered in recognition. She remembered him.

"You okay Ian?" He swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat at the voice talking to him. It was Mandy. He looked at her, finding it hard to focus and finding it hard to ignore Mickey in the corner of his eye as he studied him.

"Yeah" He answered, blinking too fast as he stood up, scratching his eyebrow, "Uh, I... I better go" he frowned, his brain not working properly as he tried to think of an excuse "Forgot - I uh, told Ryan I'd go meet him"

Mandy screwed her face up at him in confusion. She knew he was lying, but she could also see the paleness in his face and the sudden inability in him to function properly. She kicked her foot against his thigh, silently asking if he was okay and he nodded as he buried his hands in his pockets "Ok" she responded, still eyeing him with a mixture of concern and confusion "call me later"

"Yeah" Ian nodded "Uh.. " he twisted his head to Mickey, but couldn't bring himself to look at him. It all at once felt like too much. It was all too much too soon and Ian hated the feeling in his chest, the tightness, the inability to breathe and focus on anything else. The feeling that hadn't been there in the years, that felt as if it had never really left, just hidden away behind a wall he had somehow managed to build, a wall that had been chipping away brick by brick the longer he was with Mickey, crumbling down to nothing at the sight of his wife and the sour memories she brought with her. "it was good to- i'll see you"

Mickey nodded with his eyes trained to the ground, his thumb and index finger rubbing across his chin as his jaw clenched together repeatedly. Ian couldn't bring himself to think about what it all meant, what Mickey's reaction meant, he just concentrated on getting out of there.

He held his breath as he walked past her, past Mickey's wife and she stared at him with those emotionless eyes as he did.

He opened the door and stepped out into the sun that felt too bright for his sudden low mood.

He could feel her eyes burning into his back long after he closed the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a few days later when Ian found himself hiding out in the back room at work. He had been distracting himself all week and tonight was no different. He'd picked up an extra shift and his boss had let him even though he wasn't really needed. He busied himself signing papers for deliveries and organizing order forms and he switched off images in his head of pale fingers pressed against a blood coated chest and a pair of sunk in his eyes looking at him, through him like he wasn't really there. The same haunted eyes that burned into his back as he left the house four days earlier.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Janie, the manager's daughter walked in and smirked at him, scrunching her nose up in the way she always did, her skirt hiked high up on her thighs and her blouse undone one button too many. He greeted her with a raise of his eyebrows and she slapped her gum noisily, fixing her hair in the reflection from the glass behind Ian's head,

"Uh, guy at the bar for you. Told me to tell you to..." confusion tugged at her face as she tried to remember, "Get your Johnny Storm ass out there?"

Ian couldn't help the smile that broke out of his face before he nodded a thank you at her and slipped past her on his way out the door, ignoring the way she pressed her hips closer to his as he did so.

The bar was crowded, more so than usual and it was noisy, the whole room spinning with that Saturday night excitement. And yet, somehow, Ian managed to find Mickey's head straight away amongst the crowd, like his body was still so in tune with his after all these years. He was tucked away in the corner of the bar, parked on a stool as he rested an elbow along the smooth wood. Ian grinned, squashing the butterflies that fluttered nervously in his belly, "Well if it isn't The Thing showing his face around my bar"  
He came to a stop on the other side of the bar in front of Mickey, looking him over as he pretended to study him, a frown creeping into his features, "you're shorter than I imagined"

The look that passed over Mickey's face briefly before a grin spread across it in its place had Ian thankful that there was something standing between the two of them. He almost laughed though at that bitter thought, because wasn't there always? "Fuck you flame boy"

Ian smiled back and made himself busy by pouring a pint and handing it across the bar to Mick. "What're you doing here?" he asked, wiping his hands dry on the dishcloth that lay over his shoulder as he watched Mickey from across the bar.

"You said if I was ever in the area..." he shrugged and Ian bit the inside of his cheek to suppress a smile - Mickey wanted to see him. He felt a pang of something close to sadness in his chest, remembering that it was Mickey that taught him that habit, biting his cheek - hours of studying Mickey all them years ago and he'd picked up far too many habits that he always forgot to break.

"Pretty upscale place here" Mickey commented as he raised the pint glass to his lips and Ian had to thread his fingers through the dishcloth to stop from running his thumb across the foam that had collected like dust on Mickey's top lip,

"Yeah it's not too bad."

Mickey sniffed and glanced up at Ian, his eyes shifting around, not quite looking at him before he looked down at the beermat he was idly playing with, the repetitive thunk as the edge tapped against the wood calming Ian's fraying nerves as he watched Mickey's mouth form words that were uncomfortable in his mouth "Aye, uh.." Mickey steadied himself with a short exhale and forced his eyes onto Ian's "you okay after the other day? You left pretty quickly..."

Ian chewed his bottom lip for a moment, his eyebrows knitted together as he racked his brain for an excuse, any excuse. He thought back to all the excuses that they'd made before - the lies they told each other to cover up what they were and what they meant and a stab of sickness twisted like a knife in his gut at the thought of continuing that, so instead he went with honesty,

"Look -" he almost lost his nerve as Mickey looked up at him, wide eyed, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip like he knew they were on dangerous territory "I'm - I'm ok with seeing you be a dad" Ian felt the trace of a smile settle on his lips "It's pretty cute actually. And I like the whole idea of us somehow being friends or becoming... that" the smile fell away and his eyes cast down to the bar "I just.. I can't see you like that." with a spike of confidence at the sudden confession, Ian looked directly at Mickey, making sure he understood "Not with her."

With a slight tilt of his head, meant to be a nod, Mickey held contact with Ian's eyes for a second before he suddenly began to feel too much and remember too much and so he sipped his beer just to break the moment "You, uh, make a decision on whether to move in with your boyfriend or not?" he asked, ignoring the crack to his voice as he spoke

Ian shook his head and moved over to the other side of a bar, picking up a crate of freshly washed glasses, "no. Not yet"

Ian thought he saw a familiar emotion flash into Mickey's eyes as his arms flexed with the weight of the crate as he carried it over to where Mickey was sat,

"He seems to have Mandy's approval"

Ian whipped the dishcloth from his shoulder and began drying a pint glass, smirking at Mickey's comment and ignoring the smug feeling that washed over him with the new knowledge that Mickey had been questioning Mandy "Nah, Mandy's just sweet on his best friend for now, there's a difference"

Letting out a chuckle, Mickey looked idly around the bar, seeing groups of people laughing, joking and cheering as they tried to move around the crowded area.

He looked back up at Ian and ran his tongue over his top lip, scratching his temple with his thumb "uh, Jack keeps talking about you - keeps asking if I can dye his hair red so he can have cool powers"

Ian let out a loud laugh, his eyes lit up and his chest felt loose as she shook his head, like it had been compressed for so long, tightened like he had a cold and now suddenly he remembered how easy it was to breathe. He didn't want to question the reasons why as he watched Mickey smirk into his pint glass.  
****************

It was early hours of the morning now and Ian knows he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be at the baseball pitch. He shouldn't have left the bar with Mickey and walked around the city for hours. He shouldn't be sat here sharing a joint with the one person he tried so hard to forget and it shouldn't have felt so comfortable and so _right_, but it did. And he was. He was here and he was smoking a joint with Mickey and it was so familiar and made Ian's chest ache in the best possible way and he couldn't bring himself to regret a damn thing.

They had made a point of avoiding the dugouts, which was filled with too many memories and too much of them. Instead they sat down on first base and Mickey had rolled his eyes at Ian's lame jokes about the last time Mickey was stood here, with his trousers round his ankles and his dick out in front of the half-crowded stadium and pissing right where he stood.

They talked and talked and Ian had forgotten the part of himself that he never minded showing to Mickey - The part of himself that he never really let anyone see all that much. He was truly himself around Mickey and as the night wore on it felt like he had taken a mask off after hiding under it for so long. His shoulders slouched with comfort and his smile came naturally and Ian thought he might've even seen the same thing in Mickey. There was no hostility, no angry words of a past they'd both tried to forget - it was them. Back in their own little bubble, in their own little world. Because past the sex, past the feelings and past the way things had turned out for them - they were friends. Not at first, sure, but through the years they were together they developed a friendship. The strongest kind of friendship that can only come from finding something in that other person that you can see within yourself; The kind that comes from both having to keep the same secret.

"Have you seen those crappy shows he does on cable now?!" Ian scoffed, breathing out a cloud of smoke that drifted in the air and disappeared above him as he handed Mickey the joint, their fingers sliding against each other.

"If by crappy you mean awesome, sure." Mickey snorted, resting his forearms against his knees that were bent in front of him "What about Van Damme huh? Have you fucking seen those commercials he's in? Total sellout - That's bullshit"

Ian laughed, lazily and breathy, the way he always did when he'd smoked too much weed and he wiped his thumb over his nose and couldn't even bring himself to disagree "Whatever. I'm more of a Statham fan now anyways."

"Oh yeah?" Mickey asked before he rested his head between his forearms and spat on the dried mud beneath him, ignoring the shiver of cold that ran through him as the wind blew around them, rustling the nearby trees and rattling cans along the street like Chicago's very own music "I, uh, caught that Death Race a few weeks back" he ran his tongue lazily across his bottom lip as his eyes became more hooded "Kick ass film"

Ian huffed out a laugh and stole the joint from between Mickey's fingers "Oh you mean the film I tried to get you to watch like a thousand times?"

With an eye roll in Ian's direction, Mickey just sniffed "Whatever. It's good"

And it was good. This - all of this. It felt just like before - all those years ago before kids and wives and semi-serious boyfriends. Back when it was comfortable and familiar and everything Ian ever wanted. It felt just like it did before and Ian wanted to take this night and put it in a jar and put it on a shelf in his bedroom so he can look at it and remind himself that things can be this good again "Yeah, didn't hate the hose down scene, all them tattoos"

Mickey hanged his head and Ian saw him smile - but it's angry and it's sad and it's something close to happy all at once. "Yeah..." Mickey's voice fades off, an unfinished sentence that has Ian frowning.  
That's when he remembers that it's different now. That Mickey can't talk about anything like that because it's NOT like it used to be - they're not like they used to be.  
Because Mickey's got a wife and a son now, a son that's probably fast asleep in bed with an innocence that Mickey never had and no knowledge of what Mickey's life was like before he came along.

He pressed his thumb and index finger against his eyes for a second, reality slapping him across the face like a sharp, cold gust of wind, before he checked his watch "Aye uh… I better get off. I got class in - shit like three hours. Fuck."

Mickey pulled out his cell and checked the time, eyes widening as he realised how late it had gotten. "Yeah I gotta be up with Jack in two." He dragged a hand backwards through his hair and Ian felt his lips turn up in a ghost of a smile at the way it stood on end and for a moment Ian sees the old Mickey, _his_ Mickey, sat right next to him and he closed his eyes and let himself pretend.

He opened them up again as he felt the air change as Mickey moved to a standing position beside him.  
He watched Mickey brush himself down and bit his cheek at the letters across Mickey's knuckles, standing out against his pale skin. He noticed that the ring was missing from Mickey's finger and wondered if he had lost it or if he'd taken it off so Ian wouldn't have to see it.

Ian bites his cheek at the thought and stands up too and it's silent between them, almost awkward as they realise they don't know how to do this anymore. They don't know how to say their goodbyes because it's different this time.  
Before, Mickey could leave Ian with nothing but a half-hearted insult or teeth pressed too hard into his neck, reminding Ian that he wants to see him again soon.  
Then after that they never got the chance to say any goodbyes, the chance was stolen from them by Terry and a shotgun wedding and a baby that was caught up in the middle of it all.  
Ian always wanted his goodbye with Mickey; he wanted the chance for closure and a proper chance at moving on.  
But now that it was here, now that Mickey was in front of him and he was leaving, Ian didn't want a goodbye. He wanted a 'see you later'. He wanted to see Mickey again - in whatever form it came. He wanted Mickey in his life and if he had to settle for a friendship then he would.

A part of Ian wanted to bite his tongue and just pretend that this was something he could live without, that he could avoid Mickey from now on and just be happy with the common ground they've found, but he couldn't.

"Ay, uh... It was good!" the words practically stumble out of his mouth and Mickey turned and frowned at him, confused, "Seeing you." Ian clarified, blinking away the nerves that unraveled like wool in his stomach, "tonight. All of it."

He almost didn't expect Mickey to respond, but he did. His teeth chewed lightly on his bottom lip and the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin. Ian knows that smile far too well. He'd dreamt of that smile for more nights than he'd ever admit, "Yeah"

And Ian grinned back like that one word held the weight of his happiness.  
Mickey looked him over, confident and unwavering, before he turned back and started to head off. Back to his life and back to reality.

Ian watched after him, waiting, hoping for something he wasn't quite sure of and then Mickey turned back to him, just slightly,

"I'll see you soon. Firecrotch"

Ian bit the inside of his cheek, failing to suppress the grin that threatened to break out on his face as Mickey smirked and turned back around and walked away and Ian stood rooted to the spot, suddenly finding it hard to move.


End file.
